Tis the season for Pumpkin lattes and basic bitches, Tis the season for creativity and community. Get ready to pick those pumpkins and scoff those sweets, It’s that time again people, Halloween is finally here! Bringing all kinds of positives and negatives just like every seasonal event. For me, it’s one of my favourite seasonal events for many reasons but then it can also bring a few negatives that make me dislike Halloween.
HELL YUH! LET’S GET HALLOWEIRD!
REASONS TO LOVE HALLOWEEN
Just like Christmas, Halloween does bring us all together. Pumpkin picking, Halloween baking and a variety of Halloween events providing fun for all ages. I have so many memories attending Halloween fancy dress parties, picking pumpkins ( and making my parents carve it for me) and of course, trick or treating with my friends. I went to one of those Scare fest attractions where you find yourself in a field full of “dead” maniacs. I was terrified and I had a crazy guy with a chainsaw running at me, so, I grabbed the thing that was closest to me to use as a shield, unfortunately, that was a child. I had a great chat with the parents after, they found it quite hilarious!
IT’S OKAY TO BE WEIRD
Tis the season to wear whatever the hell you like and not feel like a complete pleb about. If you want to dress as a tampon or Donald Trump, then you are more then welcome to do so as you won’t have people bitching about you unless you dress as Donald Trump as a tampon, then you may raise a few eyebrows…
HALLOWEEN MOVIES ON REPEAT
Scream, Halloween and Hocus Pocus all on repeat throughout October. There is always a variety however Hocus Pocus seems to be on every day as its a Halloween favourite. The other day I sat down to The shining in which I completely forgot how bloody jumpy it is and I ended up with a Dominos pizza slice on my crotch area, now that is a scary picture.
It is now a tradition to scare the shit out of ourselves every year and hide in the corners of the room covering our eyes at these mad Scarefest events. Being locked in dark rooms, running from chainsaw maniacs and being screamed at by children is definitely all worth it for the beer at the end.
Whenever it’s showing creativity in your costume, decorations or your event, people do love to have fun with Halloween and push their creativity. The costumes you see every year, some of them I think “Wow how did they achieve that?” it gives all people a chance to show off their talents. Halloween inspires a creative mind and I LOVE IT.
ITS ALL A BUNCH OF HOCUS POCUS
REASONS TO HATE HALLOWEEN
PUMPKIN SPICED LATTE SEASON
Tis the season for BASIC BITCHES. That’s right, its pumpkin latte season. Starbucks and Costa Coffee are full of young girls taking selfies with their pumpkin lattes and then posting them all over social media. Yes, they may look good but let’s face it, they taste like biscuit farts.
KIDS ARE DICKS
Why are kids so annoying this time of year? Halloween gives kids an excuse to be terrible little buggas. Conker fights, egging houses and demanding sweets from strangers. I’m no Roald Dahl, I like kids but this time of year they are just a bloody pain in the arse that need to leave us old farts alone.
STRESSING OVER TRICK OR TREATERS
You are all settled for Halloween, you got the popcorn, the scary movie, the blanket and you got the comfy PJs on and oh fuck, you forgot to put the sweets out for the kids. Suddenly, images of throwing eggs, toilet roll thrown all over the front garden and kids taking a crap on your doorstep. Better run down to Asda and get the last bag of sweets!
THE SEXY OUTFITS
“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it”
WRONG YOU SLAAAAAG. Girls can be bitches, we are going to comment on your fancy dress, its a fact. Mean girls lied to us.
I love Stephen Kings IT, it is my favourite horror movie so why do people dressed as clowns terrify me so much? Its suddenly so cool to dress as clowns holding red balloons, standing by drains and staring at people who are going about there day. CLOWNS ARE NOT CUTE.