It’s that time again but this time throw in some masks, order in the wine and lock those doors because this Valentine’s day you’ll be staying at home, You’ll be watching those shite romance films where the ending is way too happy in the current climate we are in, you might have to put up with your partner demanding a V Day shag or if your lucky, you’ll be snuggled up on the sofa with your pet. For me? I’ll be wondering why I ever got into food and not start a sex toy line in a pandemic…Anyway… Dating in Birmingham was a bit of fun last year, Brummies showcasing their cringe worth dating experiences in Brum and WOW, you guy’s were honest!
So many have been demanding a part two, and here we are and again, you all delivered.
So put your feet up Bab, I won’t recommend getting yourself a drink as it might end up in your face by the time you’re finished reading this…Yikes.
I LEFT MY PANTS IN POP WORLD
I met this guy on Tinder and we decided to go to Brindley Place for a meal. We had a couple of drinks and we were quite tipsy so we headed to Broad Street. Out of all the bars he chooses the worse one, Pop World and I thought what the heck lets just do it! We threw more drinks down us and I desperately needed the toilet, I went to the toilet and rushed back out when I heard Lady Gaga. I rushed over to him, expecting him to be happy to see me he looked more scared than happy. He covered his mouth and I asked him what’s wrong? He then said, “What have you done with your skirt?” I looked down and my skirt was GONE, I was wearing just a thong. I started to panic and sat down straight away and grabbed his jacket to cover me. Poor thing had to go to the girl’s toilets to retrieve my skirt, It didnt put him off though as hes still with me after four years.
This was my 3rd date with Lucy and we decided to go to Subway City with a few of my friends. As we got in, it was £10 for 10 drinks, so we all got pretty drunk. We were upstairs and, I left my date who was happily dancing with my mates. I went to the bar to get another drink and then went back upstairs and saw Lucy right by the door with two girls. I came behind her and put my arm around her then I kissed her. Suddenly I hear someone screaming my name and I looked in the direction I heard my name and it was my Lucy? I was completely confused, I looked at the girl I kissed who was in complete shock. I then rubbed my eyes a bit and realised that it was most defiantly was not my date, it was some random girl. I never did see Lucy after that…
I once went on a Tinder date and his first words were ‘you’re not very photogenic are you’ I think it was a backhanded compliment that I look better in real life…
SOMEONE PHONE HOME
I met a guy off Tinder in Bridgnorth. When I got there he told me had already had 6 pints before he met me, as we sat down I realised he was the most socially awkward person ever and basically was not saying a word. To get myself through the pain of the date, I had no other choice but to get absolutely smashed. I’m not quite sure what ended up happening but in the end he stormed off leaving me alone in the pub. I tried to call a taxi but couldn’t get through to any, so in the end I went into Prezzo and they took pity on my very drunk self. They let me sit down and half go to sleep on the table while I waited for my poor dad to pick me up.
I BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SWIPE
I met a lad on online dating from the local area. It was a week before Valentines Day and he tells me during the 1st date that he has a card and gift for me, I said it was only the 1st date? Seriously no need, But cute- Well, it was, until end of the date he hands me his tshirt unwashed. He said it has his scent on and I can sleep with him at night, Yuck! Then I open the card and it was a whole essay of how much he loves me and we can spend our lives together. This was written before he even met me, WTF?! As you can guess, I didn’t meet him again. Thankfully two weeks later, I met my lovely husband and 11 years on, we are still going strong.
WHEREFORE ART THOU BOOTY?!
I met this guy who was really into Shakespeare, and because I wanted to sound cultural and high brow I agreed to go to see a Shakespeare play on our first date. It was the most boring thing ever and he kept laughing really loud at all the jokes, Then when we left he proceeded to tell me he had booked a hotel for us. Bearing in mind this was the first time I met him and had spoke about 10 words to him because of the play, I politely declined and he ended up going to the hotel on his own…
NANA DOES NOT APPROVE
I met this girl off Bumble and it was our second date and we decided to get some lunch in the Bullring. As we were walking I really needed to fart so I decided to let one out but then soon as I did a group of people came towards us and it was my dates family. They stopped to talk and they said hello to me but then suddenly this disgusting smell surrounded us and my dates nan was there standing right next to me. I could tell she could smell it as she kept sniffing, covering her mouth and then she turned to me and said “Oh thats filthy” That was the last time I saw her and I dont blame her for not seeing me as Nana was disgusted.
ARE YOU WELL HUN?
I went on a first date in Birmingham with this guy called Luke who I met on Tinder. When I met him he seemed a little off as in drunk, but I just thought maybe its nerves. We went for food and he called me Emily, I told him my name is Rachel, He looked at me confused and said: “I thought I was on a date with Emily?” I was shocked, I asked him if he was okay and he then proceeded to say ” Oh yeah your Rachel, and Emily is the skinny one. I think her dates tomorrow, sorry, I had some coke before I came out” Wow, that was my queue to go, never again TINDER!
RATE MY SHITS
I met this guy off Tinder and for our first date a table at an Indian restaurant in Moseley as he knew I liked Indian food. We met, he seemed nice and then we sat down for our meal. I noticed half way through our mains that he was sweating and his voice was starting to shake a bit, he then asked the waiter if there was a toilet and walked off quite quicky… I was literally waiting at the table for 25 minutes, I started to worry. The waiter came over to me and said “I think your partner has gone” I then asked the waiter why he thought that and he then said he saw him leaving in a hurry holding his coat covering his bum/legs. My date shit himself and left me to pay the bill…and whats so funny is that he text me two weeks later asking what would I rate him as a first date…
IT WAS A RUN BY PORKING!
We went to the Bullring for our first date, coffee and lunch. She was nice but she wasn’t for me so I never messaged her again. I went out in Digbeth one night with the lads and I was outside having a fag when all of a sudden I felt something hit the back of my head, It was a ham sandwich and it was the girl I went on the date with. Thank god I didn’t go on another date with her, who carries a ham sandwich with them at 2 am in the morning?
MILFS ON BROADSTREET
I was seeing this girl from Bumble called Anna for about 3 weeks, I went round her house and even met her mother who was a bit crazy but pretty hot! I was out in Birmingham one night with the lads in Broad Street and I spotted Anna who was out on a Hen Do with her family and friends, we all got really drunk especially Anna’s Mom. That night I was supposed to go home with Anna but I went to the Travelodge on Broad Street with Anna’s Mom instead, OOPS.
Bab about Town