I believe there are films made out there to just freak the hell out of us and completely leave the cinema baffled as to what the hell they spent their money on but…we kind of love it. We are all guilty, we love a film that makes us question, debate and turn to social media to get more answers. So, I thought why not put together a post of the films that made me do just that. Some of these films have completely lost me, question society and have even inspired me weirdly enough. Now you can look forward to putting your feet up every night, ordering in that popcorn and watching a film from the selection below, that’s right I got your self-isolating night’s covered for the next week. From biting vagina’s to killer cats, these are my weirdest films that you need to watch.
DOGTOOTH
“A controlling, manipulative father locks his three adult offspring in a state of perpetual childhood by keeping them prisoner within the family compound. The children are bored to tears in spite of distractions like Christina, an employee of their fathers who makes regular visits to sexually service the son. Increasingly curious about the outside world, the older daughter hatches a plan to escape.”
This is one of those films where we can’t help but become in awe of its strangeness and horror. It’s a tough watch but I couldn’t help but watch with a mixture of confusion, horror and shock, its humanity at its most INSANIST. You have bloody weird incestuous relationships, people on all fours barking like dogs to scare of cats who they are told are complete monsters and knocking teeth out with dumbbells. Oh yeah, this film has bite alright.
MIDSOMMAR
A couple travel to Sweden to visit their friend’s rural hometown for its fabled midsummer festival, but what begins as an idyllic retreat quickly devolves into an increasingly violent and bizarre competition at the hands of a pagan cult.
This is the one movie that I had to question myself on numerous times if I was high or not. Life lesson kids make sure you read about the movie before you go to see it because I got a glimpse of floral and automatically thought it was going to be this lovely romantic movie, my god was I wrong. People stuffed in bears, getting bludgeoned to death and some freakish women screaming like it’s the last orgasm of their lives. I still don’t know what I watched, I still couldn’t tell you what it’s about, but I bloody loved it.
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
Extremely shy Lars finds it impossible to make friends or socialize. His brother and sister-in-law worry about him, so when he announces that he has a girlfriend he met on the Internet, they are overjoyed. But Lars’ new lady is a life-size plastic woman. On the advice of a doctor, his family and the rest of the community go along with his delusion.
Possibly the sweetest film I have ever seen and Ryan Gosling is in it?! I couldn’t stop giggling all the way through and often there would be times where I would feel terrible about it and oddly enough, it is a very touching movie even if it is about falling in love with a plastic doll. I still can’t get over that Ryan Gosling agreed to do this movie but just shows, that sexy guys can take the piss out of themselves too! It’s weird and wonderful at its finest!
MELANCHOLIA
The lives of sisters Justine and Claire get entangled when they discover that Earth is about to collide with an enormous planet called Melancholia.
Within 5 minutes of watching this film, you will be captivated, mark my words. The cinematography in this film is insane, and the plot is pretty smart capturing the portrait of depression. It’s one of those films that is quite tough to stick with but try to because it’s worth it! Kirsten Dunst is amazing as ever definitely her best performance and there is an appearance from one of those hunky Skarsgard brothers in it as well. It’s haunting, terrifying almost like a nightmare you can’t escape but it is mesmerizing.
THE BAD BATCH
Arlen is abandoned in a Texas wasteland that is fenced off from civilization. While trying to navigate the unforgiving landscape, Arlen is captured by a savage band of cannibals led by the mysterious Miami Man. With her life on the line, she makes her way to The Dream. As she adjusts to life in the bad batch, Arlen discovers that being good or bad mostly depends on who’s standing next to you.
Another film which is pretty fucked! Involving cannibalism, short shorts, and that hunky Aqua man guy, so it’s worth a watch in my eyes. It’s a cross between Mad Max and the hills have eyes with some pretty good actors such as Jason Mamoa, Giovanni Ribisi and a hilarious guest appearance from Jim Carrey as a mute hobo?! It’s one of those films with an ending where you generally question why you spent two hours watching it but remember you are a sucker for biceps and Jim Carrey so then you carry on with your day. It had potential to go down a Kill Bill route maybe as TV series, but I am no Director, so what do I know, right?… Call me Quentin!
HEREDITARY
When the matriarch of the Graham family passes away, her daughter and grandchildren begin to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry, trying to outrun the sinister fate they have inherited.
This film was good for the first 20 minutes, someone got their head decapitated and then it turned into a complete bore fest until the last 20 minutes where I think the movie producer’s thought “Oh fuck it, let’s just make this as weird as possible” in which they achieved. I watched this at the cinema and when it finished, the whole of the cinema was silent watching the credits roll. No one said a peep until 5 minutes after someone shouted “What the fuck was that about” in which the whole room engaged in a slagging session of this film. You might want to just read about it on Wikipedia and then skip to the end.
TEETH
Dawn is an active member of her high-school chastity club but, when she meets Tobey, nature takes its course, and the pair answer the call. They suddenly learn she is a living example of the vagina dentata myth, when the encounter takes a grisly turn.
Lads will be squealing in their seat and girls will be inspecting their muffins after watching this film. Yes, this movie is really about a vagina with teeth, the ultimate monster and orgasm killer. Is it any good? well, it’s a vagina with teeth what do you expect? it’s hilarious, disgusting and entertaining so worth a watch plus did I mention there is a vagina with teeth in it?
THE ROOM
The film centers on a melodramatic love triangle between amiable banker Johnny, his deceptive fiancée Lisa, and his conflicted best friend Mark.
“I did not hit her! I did not…Oh Hi, Mark”
That’s it, that’s the synopsis. This movie is labelled the worst movie of all time and that’s why you need to watch it NOW. Famous for its notorious lines such as “Oh, Hi Mark” “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA” “You’re just a chicken chip chip” you will find yourself laughing for the wrong reasons because this film intended to be serious. A classic example of “so bad, it’s so good” prepare to laugh your balls off and not have a clue what’s going on.
PANS LABYRINTH
Ofelia moves with her mother to her stepfather’s house. At night, a fairy leads her to a faun who informs her that she is a princess and she needs to participate in three tasks to prove her royalty.
A fucked up Spanish rated 18 “Fairy tale” If you are struggling with your kids whilst self-isolating this is the film to get your kids in order.
This film is a lot, one moment you are trying to fight back the tears, the next you are on the edge of your seat screaming at the TV at what can only be described as a shrivelled up funky looking penis with arms and legs running after a little girl trying to eat her… It’s creepy, it’s brutal and it’s also a frightening masterpiece.
TUSK
A podcaster ventures into the Canadian wilderness to interview an old man who has an extraordinary past, and the American learns the man has a dark secret involving a walrus.
This has to be the weirdest movie I have ever seen in my life. This is on some human centipede level, another film that has convinced me that I must have been stoned whilst watching. In a nutshell, this old man is obsessed with walruses and decides to turn Justin Long’s character into a walrus. Justin Long in a walrus suit? you have to see it to believe it, what’s so odd is why Mr Long agreed to be part of this film AND Johnny Depp?! I laughed, I screamed, and I was totally confused AF! I have no words honestly for this film, go try it out maybe?
AMY ELIZA
