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lifestyle Thailand travel

THE THAILAND DIARIES: PART ONE…SORRY MOM & DAD

“Have you ever played ping pong with a vagina before?”

Well, it’s not the best start to 2020, is it? for many holiday seekers relying on that booked holiday to finally relax, top up their tans and maybe even find love, are sadly having to cancel their 2020 treat due to the outbreak of CO-VID 19. Yes, corona, you have well and truly buggered 2020 “The year that was going to be my year,” said the so many millions of people that say the same quote every year. However, let’s not take this as a negative because this year could be the year to reflect, plan and save for 2021.

I find that as you get older the time just flies by and sometimes you just don’t have the time to sit down with yourself and think “Okay, what do I want to do?” I am finding whilst I am self-isolating, that I have all the time in the world to think, thoughts that have never crossed my mind are now quite common in the past week and of course, memories.  I was flicking through my phone and came across my Thailand photographs in which I started laughing straight away because I remember before I went to Thailand I felt very down about life, and I just wanted to escape Birmingham for two weeks with my cousin Jess. The memories we made, the experiences we experienced, and my god, the laughs we had. I looked back at the photos in which I am gleaming, I look so happy and you wouldn’t think I just came out of a seven-year relationship with someone who I thought I was going to marry. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone, and Thailand was just that because I never fancied Thailand! a couple of my friends went before me and I would think “Why the hell would you want to go to a place like that?!” but soon as I got off that 12-hour flight, Thailand threw everything at me from condom restaurants (Yes for real), sex shows, to walking amongst beautiful temples and elephants. I learnt a lot from Thailand, and it’s a destination I would recommend to anyone in a heartbeat and so, if you’re gutted about your holiday being cancelled in Spain why not step out of your comfort zone and explore Thailand?

So I have put together a blog post with lots of photos, hilarious stories and recommendations. We travelled to Bangkok, Chiang Mai and Phuket so there is a lot to get through so there is going to be a part 2. If there is anything that has caught your eye and want to know more about just send me a comment and I’ll be happy to give you more information! Other than that I hope I don’t disgust you too much.

BANGKOK- WHERE WE ALMOST GOT ARRESTED

When we first arrived in Bangkok, we arrived with a bang…quite literally. It was like a scene you would see in a cartoon, we got off our 12-hour flight, grabbed our suitcases and headed to the escalators to get out of Bangkok Airport. We stepped onto the escalators (no steps) and missed the sign to hold onto our luggage- well my cousin Jess did, because the next thing I heard was the loudest screeching ever, so loud that the whole of the airport looked our way with panic expressions. I looked forward and I just see this suitcase running away from Jess and her running after it down the escalator. I couldn’t stop laughing and what was worse is that I needed the toilet so bad, I was having to control my bowels whilst laughing. The suitcase was heading towards these two doors made out of glass and I remember thinking “Oh shit, we are going to get arrested” the suitcase slammed of the glass doors, the sound was honestly like a bomb had gone off but luckily the doors never smashed. Jess grabbed the suitcase where security was standing looking very unimpressed. A close call to getting arrested and sharting but a moment I’ll never forget.

CABBAGES & CONDOMS- THE CONDOM RESTAURANT

I remember coming across this restaurant online thinking “This is not real! It’s got to be a joke?” so when we jumped out of our Tuk-Tuk and saw the sign and light shades made out of condoms, We knew instantly that this is going to be the weirdest dining experience we will ever experience in our lives. Just imagine condoms everywhere, floating in the sky, on the tables, mannequins and flowers made out of them, it got to the point I was starting to imagine dicks as well. The restaurant has a mission to help prevent sexually transmitted diseases and Hey, I thought I was just here for food but found myself in a sex-ed class reading of all the information boards on what you should and should not swallow. The food is pretty basic, but the springs rolls are pretty amazing, but I just kept catching the 100 condom light shades staring at me whilst eating and I couldn’t finish my rolls as I was thinking about dicks again. A very surreal experience and to our amusement when we paid for the bill, I was expecting some complimentary mints that you usually get at a Thai restaurant but nope, they gave us complimentary condoms instead.

MASSAGE- WITH AN ADDED CHEEKY FINGER

Okay, so we all know about the happy ending massage parlours in Thailand so can you imagine my face when I ask for a traditional massage and got more than what I asked for?! We went to some random parlour on the street in Bangkok, didn’t look into it but we were so desperate for a massage. They first scrubbed our feet then took us to this pitch-black room upstairs with two mattresses on the floor and told us to remove our clothes. We didn’t think much of it at first as it was just two middle-aged women plus, we have never had a Thai massage, so we did as what we were told and removed our clothes. This woman I had was pretty good she poured oil down my back and was rubbing all the knots out, from my neck to my feet however as she was gliding back up with the oil she got to my bum and well she, did me over didn’t she?! The crafty fucker slipped a finger in where no fingers shall ever go again, it was like 5 seconds, but I kept fighting with myself thinking if it happened or not. Soon as the women left I turned to Jess literally gobsmacked “I just lost my finger in bum virginity” We couldn’t stop laughing, Jess said her lady straddled her and kept thrusting her vagina in her bum, we couldn’t get out of there quick enough but my back felt great after so I’ll give her that.

CHIANG MAI- WHERE WE ALMOST GOT EATEN ALIVE.

Chiang Mai was one of my favourite places in Thailand although we had a lot of run-ins with the wildlife there, some good and some bad. One of the nights, we decided to take a look at The Night Bazaar which has everything from furniture to crocodile on a stick. On the way back we decided to get a Tuk-Tuk halfway then walk home. As we were walking past an alley, we could hear some growling, we looked down and there was a group of wild dogs. Now, these are not the dogs you get back home, they are almost mutated, dribbling and covered in wounds, not a pretty sight. They clocked us, then they started barking and charged at us. I have never run so fast in my life; I did not want to get eaten alive by dogs even if they are one of my favourite animals. The night didn’t stop there, as we were running a couple of rats decided it was a marathon and ran in front of us, so we screamed some more and increased our speed. When we got back to the hotel which was in the middle of the jungle, we felt so relieved until what I can only describe as a massive lizard orgy on our door to our room, the audacity of these big fuckers out here.

ELEPHANT NATURE PARK- A TRULY REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE

So, there is a lot of negativity when it comes to animal welfare with Thailand and especially with elephants. A lot of these horror stories you hear from elephants forced to dance to the public, carrying logs up mountains and working as beggars on the streets are sadly true. The biggest con of all is these “sanctuary’s” that make you believe that they are taking care of the elephants but when they close the doors after you leave it’s a different story. So, Jess and I did some research into legit sanctuary’s for elephants and the elephant nature park came up founded by Lek Chailert who has dedicated her life to rescuing abused elephants and is one of Asia’s heroes for animal welfare. Before you arrive you are educated in these amazing animals and how they are abused all over the world, you get to know some of the nature parks elephants stories but when you see the elephants now you wouldn’t have thought they had such a tragic past. They are chasing each other, flapping their ears and are free. No bull hooks are allowed in the nature park, each elephant has a keeper to look after them and you can see the incredible bond, they all have.

 One elephant that I just fell in love with and had a tragic story was Jokia, Her story is very upsetting-Warning senstive content -Jokia is a female elephant who worked in the log trade. She suffered a miscarriage while pulling a log uphill and was not allowed to stop working to see if her calf was dead or alive. This event cause Jokia extreme physical and emotional trauma and she refused to go back to work. As a result, she was deliberately blinded in both eyes on two separate occasions by different owners.

Jokia has two best friends Navann and Sri Prae who help guide her throughout the park with their trunks. We got to meet Jokia and Navann, Navann was holding on to Jokia and they couldn’t stop flapping their ears when we greeted them. She looked so happy, for a human to hurt her like that and not attack us as we approached just shows how strong spirited and beautiful these animals are.

I shall call him Bagheera and he shall be mine!

The elephant nature park is something that will stick with me for a long time, they have strict rules of no riding, no ball hooks, no bathing, no performing and no abusing them in any sort of way. To see free elephants, behave naturally rolling around in the mud with their friends, chasing one and other and just smiling was enough for me. We did get to feed the elephants watermelon, watch them bathe in the lake and give them a stroke. The Nature park also recuse dogs, cats, and buffaloes, they all roam freely in the park and there are hundreds of volunteers who work to support the park

If you are going to a “sanctuary” where the workers carry bull hooks, promote elephant rides and elephant shows, they are chained, or not informing you about the welfare of elephants then it’s not a sanctuary, you’re paying these people to carry on abusing them. It might look great for a photo you riding on an elephant but many of the elephants at the Nature Park sanctuary have had their backbones dislocated because of this, the workers who they had worked for won’t see this (well, refuse to acknowledge) and sadly will abuse them, even more, to carry on with broken bones to make money or they die.

If you are interested in finding more about the Park, please head over to the website here

Just the best Frappe Latte at Dek-Doi Cafe just down the street from The Eco Resort where we stayed,
The sort of things you will find at the Chiang Mai markets, Me and Jess were trying to work out for a good 10 minutes if the Croc was a real or not.

That’s it for part one of The Thailand Diaries, Part two will be next week and this part gets a little bit freaky with Ping Pong shows, dancing with strippers, and bumpy rides Baby– Oh god I’m so sorry Mom!

AMY ELIZA

Categories
Food review

AFTERNOON TEA AT CHATEAU IMPNEY

You don’t have to travel too far to feel like royalty these days. To many people royalty could be a fry up in your local pub, a free arm massage from your work colleague or an afternoon tea in an enchanting 1875 French Chateau surrounded by 140 acres of picturesque grounds. I know which one I would pick. Introducing Chateau Impney, a stunning venue located in Droitwich that offers accommodation and plays host to a variety of events in the Midlands. Me and my friend Sian were invited to try out the afternoon tea 2 for 1 offer and take a tour of the Chateau.

Upon arriving at the Chateau the first thing you will encounter is the 140 acres of land which is like something out of Downtown Abbey or a Jane Austin novel. Views of waterfalls, cherry blossom and swans taking a dip into the lake, now all we need is an enchanting castle to go with it..oh wait! Upon entering the Chateau, we were guided down to the Impney restaurant where the afternoon tea took place in a modern extension. We were greeted by the host and shown to our tables and were asked for what drinks we would like to be served with the afternoon tea. Once ordered we had a little wonder around the restaurant which seemed to have two different styles on either side. One side was very modern with leather chairs, purple walls and wooden tables. The other side had more of a rustic botanist theme with fairy lights and greenery covering the ceiling. Very different but strangely seemed to tie in quite well together, but not so much with the rest of the Chateau that boasts original french archtiecture. 

After 10 minutes the afternoon tea arrived at our table offering a very generous selection of sandwiches, cakes, and scones. There were many sandwiches with a variety of fillings such as cheese and caramelised onion, egg and cress, fresh salmon, ham and cheese, and cucumber. The sandwiches were fresh, filling and very tasty. The Scones are served with fresh cream and jam, and they were delightful. Perfectly sized cakes are on offer from cheesecake, caramel slice, fudge/chocolate cake and carrot cake. The staff are very attentive and are really friendly, the price of the afternoon tea is not high class but the quality of service and food you are receiving certainly is. The offer is 2 for 1 so it costs £20 which is an absolute steal for the afternoon tea you are getting. I have paid up to £35 in some restaurants and the quality/quantity doesn’t even come close to the Chateau.

After the afternoon tea, we were introduced to Peter who was the General Manager. He took us on a little tour of the Chateau. Peter was like a walking Wikipedia of Chateau Impney, he gave us so much information and went through the history of the Chateau. Peter showed us one of the luxury Chateau feature rooms which was just something out of a fairy tale. The room was possibly the size of my house, it also had one of those arty-farty bathtubs behind the bed that could fit a family of 6 in and a king-size bed that was fit for a King and Queen. The view of the grounds from the room is breath taking and even when you come away from the balcony the luxury of the room still makes it breath taking! On the tour, we also took a look at some of the exhibition rooms that can hold up to 800 people in. The hall that offers grand features where weddings are held and the beautiful gardens. The gardens were something that reminded me of a cross between Alice in Wonderland and The Secret garden. Sadly, the day was a bit dull so we didn’t stay long in gardens, but it would be lovely to come back in the summer to see the whole of the garden out in bloom in its full glory, bathed in sunlight. 

Chateau Impney is a venue that you could only imagine would exist in fairy tales. An enchanting building full of character and life that would make a stunning backdrop for any special event. The afternoon tea was delicious and for the price it is, I believe it to be far too generous. High-quality food, very generous portions and good value for money- it should be something you need to put on your list to do this month. Chateau Impney is a real fairytale to be explored by all, from the moment you drive into the grounds to the moment you step out, you are treated like royalty. Thank you Chateau Impney for inviting me, a tip-top royal experience I will never forget.

The Afternoon tea 2 for 1 offer ends on 27th February 2020.

AMY ELIZA

Categories
photography

PHOTOGRAPHY IN BRUM- MY FAVOURITE SPOTS

I have lived in Birmingham my whole life and even when I am out with my camera, I still manage to find spots that I have never come across before that are great for all kinds of photography. The great thing about photography in Birmingham is that it is never ending, and it’s getting bigger! A creative and colourful city that is always sparking our creativity and is always supportive of fellow creatives. It really is great to be a photographer in this city. It has given me such confidence and the ability to grow and not be afraid to be open with my style. From Visit_Birmingham to BHAMGRAM social media photography platforms driving beginners to experienced photographers to showcase their vision of Birmingham and to be rewarded with credit on social media platforms to drive more recognition to the photographer. The photography community is growing every day in Birmingham, making Brum one of the best cities out there to point your camera in and why not? Have you seen our city?! There is so much on offer here! There are so many endless possibilities to photograph in Birmingham and I want to show you my favourite spots!

DIGBETH

Home of the future creatives, an ultimate favourite of mine and I bet of so many other photographers as well. It’s like the upside down of Birmingham, endless possible shots to take in this colourful area full of talented street artists work, with exciting possibilities for all creatives. I have done a variety of photoshoots here with Bloggers, Models, couples and families. The Nightowl pink and white wall seems to be a favourite with bloggers/models, so I like using this backdrop a lot and it gives my photos a retro tone which is great as I’m a retro vintage Gal.

SNOW HILL

I am quite surprised with many of you who don’t recognise where this is. however, every time I’m on shoot here it feels like I am on a film set for a futuristic Jurassic park film. This location is very popular for model shots, but I recently did a couple shoot here and loved the results. Let’s not forget the botanical greenery walls that are perfect backdrops for all kinds of photoshoots!

COLMORE ROW

Colmore Row, Barwick St and New hall St are perfect for blogger shoots, you have the great independent coffee shops such as 200 Degrees and vibrant quirky restaurants such as Tattu. Let’s not forget the tall metropolitan office towers and Art deco features in the Birmingham Museum.

THE MAILBOX/CANALS

The view from the Cube is always spectacular to photograph and shooting from the ground floor of the cube is pretty cool aswell. The canals are very popular to photograph but you can get some pretty awesome shots if you choose your angles wisely. I would like to mention that I love photographing the Canal house as you have the beautiful high rise buildings such as HSBC and the Hyatt hotel behind it.

BRINDLEY PLACE

I went to Amsterdam back in August and fell in the love with the city. After a week after my return, with dutchy blues, I went for a walk in Brindley place. Photographing the Arena walking across the bridges I suddenly stopped “Déjà Vu” the flowers, the view of the canal, it was like I was back in Amsterdam! It sparked a few ideas for blogger and family photoshoots. Another mention is Ikon Gallery. I especially love to come here when the blossom is in full bloom in Oozells square, It makes stunning photos.

OTHER MENTIONS

The library of Birmingham- Great for views of Broad Street, The Cube, and BT Tower.

Selfridges tunnel to car park- Another great spot to take shots of the Bullring, St Martin church, and Digbeth.

Cannon hill park- A favourite for family and kids photoshoots.

The Jewellery Quarter- Great location for all kinds of photoshoots!

Great Western Arcade- Beautiful Victorian arcade, it’s like stepping back in time! perfect for portraits.

AMY ELIZA